What’s worse than an obnoxious passenger? A lazy or just plain crazy co-worker who loves to do their own thing.
While most flight attendants are cool to fly with and sometimes even fun, there’s quite a few who aren’t. These are the flight attendants that will make you want to grab a beer and blow an airplane slide.
Funny Ways Flight Attendants Annoy Each Other
If you’re on a mission to piss off the life of your fellow crew members and consequently be included in the No Fly list, simply follow these guidelines:
1 Never, Ever Collect Trash
A large part of a flight attendant’s job is collecting trash during the flight. If you like your co-workers, you’ll help out. If you don’t like your co-workers you’ll opt-out of picking up trash and do as little as possible in between services.
2 Go Slow On The Bar Cart
When serving drinks, chat it up with every single passenger–especially irritating when it’s a packed flight. Ask them how they’re feeling, if they have a connecting flight and the reason that they’re traveling while your co-worker takes orders and serves. If you’re at the bottom of the bar cart and responsible for pulling back the cart, pull back as little as possible, maybe only a row and a half so you can finish your conversations and your fellow crew member will have to ask you frequently to push back so they can serve others.
3 Leave All Your Personal Stuff On The Galley Counter
If you’re not working in the galley, leave any and everything on the counter, including your personal belongs. Go ahead, never throw away trash a customer gives you, place it on the counter instead. Leave your personal belongings such as your book, magazines, purse, food containers all over the place and then walk away. Never say sorry when someone else has to move your stuff out of the way, only say thanks like it’s expected.
4 Never Stow Your Luggage in Your Assigned Space
If you’re traveling with the same crew for several days, always put your luggage in someone else’s assigned spot since it’s more convenient for you. If they ask you to move it, pretend you’re really busy so they will either have lift your luggage and move it themselves or find another place for their bags.
5 Spend As Much Time As Possible In The Lavatory
Especially in the middle of a meal or beverage service. Fix your hair, fix your make up, take selfies. Use the little sink and splash water everywhere. Avoid using the first class bathroom if there’s only one or you’ll also piss off waiting passengers.
6 Never Pick Up The Intercom Phone
When a crew member is attempting call you. Be so busy or engrossed in a book and pretend that you don’t hear the chime or notice the illuminated light above your head. Their only choice will be to walk all the way to the front or the back of the plane to communicate with you.
7 Sit On The Jumpseat And Read The Entire Flight
Roll your eyes and mutter under your breath when your fellow crew members need your help.
These actions may not get fired immediately (maybe eventually), but it will for sure earn you a reputation as that flight attendant no one likes to work with.